


Experience Is Merely The Name Men Give To Their Mistakes

by HunterByDayWhovianByNight



Category: Penny Dreadful (TV)
Genre: Absinthe, Bloodplay, Boozious Consent, Dorian-centric because I love him, Knifeplay, M/M, Missing Scene, Rough Sex, Sensory Overload
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 06:41:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12184908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterByDayWhovianByNight/pseuds/HunterByDayWhovianByNight
Summary: “In one moment I was feeling everything and I was feeling nothing.” - Kami GarciaEthan hadn't ever known this feeling before, and Dorian had never even felt before; it only made sense that they took this first together.





	Experience Is Merely The Name Men Give To Their Mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> SO YEAH my English teacher told me to watch this show, but she didn't tell it me it was going to be FUCKING GAY so this story is a result of my literal death after Season 1, Episode 4. Title is a quote from Oscar Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray".
> 
> ~Hunter

Ethan’s mind is already overwhelmed the moment he steps foot into Dorian’s house. The dogfight, or whatever it was, was far too much for him and the fight he got into forced him and Dorian to leave the place and hurry home. Dorian ushered him to the bathroom and gave him a cloth to wipe off the blood on his face and fists. The pure masculinity Dorian already saw on Ethan is heightened by the blood and sweat from the fight and it gives him a high to see Ethan like that. He wants to reach out and streak the blood over Ethan’s face, paint him red and masculine and powerful, but he refrains. He had _some_ restraint, after all.

Dorian is amused when Ethan asks if he has a favorite painting. It's a common question people ask when they visit his home. Maybe one day, he'll show Ethan his portrait that he keeps far away from the prying eyes of the world.

Ethan waxes poetic about the Anasazi cave paintings he's seen in America and it touches Dorian. He wishes he could have that same feeling for something special; he had it before, when he was mortal. So many things that used to excite him bore him now. He listens in interest as Ethan describes their contents: the sun, the moon, the native animals. When Dorian asks Ethan why he likes the cave paintings, he says “they're honest,” with a tinge of sadness lingering in his voice. Dorian knows why Ethan likes the honesty of the paintings even if he doesn't say why; it's because Ethan lies about _so much_ of himself that he can't be who he really is any longer. He has a disconnect with the real world and wishes he could be his true self. Dorian feels that same pain and finds the man’s desire for honesty and the truly important things in life touching; he lost that years ago and it pulls at his heart. He wishes for it too.

Ethan is surprised when Dorian says that only music can be honest. All these paintings around him, and he doesn't think art can truly be honest? Ethan thinks Dorian is as complex as his justification for music as honest, but it all makes sense when he says it's a paradox. _Of course_ Dorian would like something paradoxical and complex- it matches who he is as a person.

Ethan wonders which of the gramophone cylinders lining the wall is Dorian's favorite. He's confused when Dorian says he's bored with them; he wants more than these vague explanations, but then that (enchanting) paradoxical nature of Dorian's personality comes out, and Ethan mentally kicks himself for not seeing it coming. Ethan watches as Dorian's eyes light up and he smiles a real smile, the first real smile Ethan has seen on the man, when he brings up Wagner. Dorian's smile makes Ethan do the same, and Ethan can't help but feel excited as he watches Dorian ready the cylinder.

The gramophone’s _click_ into place makes Ethan jump in surprise; the sip of absinthe he just took overwhelms his senses more than he thought it would. When the music begins playing through the gramophone, it takes Ethan away, and he shuts his eyes to immerse himself in it. Dorian describes the scene, and Ethan revels in the low, raspy sound of his voice. The paintings on the walls and the music and the sound of Dorian's voice are just _too much_ for Ethan's overloaded mind and it creates… something in his mind. He can't give the feeling a name.

Dorian gazes at Ethan from across the room and feels arousal creep through his veins like it hasn't in _years._ Ethan is over there, awkwardly fidgeting as the wheels turn in his head, and Dorian can't help but imagine what Ethan's next move will be. He wants Ethan to come over here and surrender his body, to take him, because this is the first time he's _felt_ in so long and he needs to feel whole. The intensity of the music only makes Dorian's own senses heighten and he doesn't try to suppress the desire he's projecting onto Ethan. _Come here,_ he says with his eyes. _Come over here and kiss me, if you dare to._

Ethan's mind plays over images from the last few weeks and tonight in quick succession, and it makes him feel shame and madness and regret and pain as he remembers it all: Vanessa, Brona, Dorian, the dead woman, the boy in that cellar, and dozens of other bloody images including himself are conjured up in his mind in a gruesome slideshow. His eyes sting with tears and he doesn't know what it all means or how to react to it, but then he's walking swiftly towards Dorian's side of the room, fire in his eyes and arousal bubbling in his abdomen. Dorian's come-hither eyes combined with too much absinthe in his body and too much on his mind make Ethan _want._ He imagines that this is how Dorian feels when he gets to try something new.

Dorian is taken aback when Ethan wraps a strong hand around his throat, like he's going to choke him. It sends a little shiver throughout his body, and if he were still mortal, he would have feared death. He knows that Ethan will not choke him, though; there's a flame in Ethan's eyes that Dorian knows all too well: _lust._

Ethan sees the slight twinge of fear in Dorian's pretty eyes when he clutches at Dorian's neck. It's a brief moment as they stare into each other's eyes, the music climaxing in the distance, before Ethan forces Dorian into a kiss, his hand still tight around Dorian's soft, slender throat. He feels Dorian melt and press his lips back for a moment, and he pulls away sharply, looking back at the other man in the pale moonlight that's filtering in through the window. There's so much going through his mind right now, and he can't stop his hands from pulling at the thin purple shirt Dorian has on and tearing it off. He is beyond aroused when Dorian is shirtless, and he tries to communicate it with his eyes.

Dorian feels _so high_ when Ethan tears his shirt off. It's not common that someone wants him this much, and he hopes that this will lead where he wants it to. Even though Ethan has tear-dampened cheeks, he couldn't exude more masculinity right now. His hands are so rough and forceful when they tear his shirt off and Dorian melts a little at the thought of Ethan pinning him down and bruising him up. With practiced hands, Dorian does the same for Ethan, but slower. Dorian can feel Ethan's heart beating wildly as he undoes the buttons. The wait is obviously killing Ethan, evident by his panting breaths and anticipatory gaze. Ethan is looking at him with pure lust and desire, and Dorian has never felt more alive than in this moment.

Ethan feels a stirring in his groin when he sees how innocent and sweet Dorian looks in the soft light. His hazel eyes are wide and pleading, his soft pink lips are parted and inviting. He looks like a young boy here, waiting for direction, and it's the look in Dorian's eyes that make Ethan realize that _he's_ in charge here, that Dorian will do whatever he says. The thought is enchanting. Dorian kisses him, and Ethan can't help but put his hand on the back of Dorian's head to bring him closer. He hopes Dorian can feel how hard he's getting because of him. They kiss again, again, and then Ethan pulls away to look at Dorian's beautiful face once more. It's unsaid, but he knows what's next.

“Please, Ethan,” Dorian finds himself begging, “I want you to fuck me.” He's never wanted anything so badly before this.

“You really want me to?” Ethan asks, surprised that Dorian is asking him, of all people, this.

“Yes, God, _please,”_ Dorian says. “I've never needed it so bad.”

“You want it here? With all these portraits around us, watching?”

“Bit of a voyeur, aren't you?” Dorian chuckles in amusement. That laugh goes _right_ to Ethan's hardening dick and makes him groan.

“Just wondering,” Ethan says as he pushes Dorian to the couch behind the other man. Dorian _thumps_ against the couch and looks up at Ethan with the same coy eyes as before. Dorian looks so, so perfect below him. Ethan's never gone this far with another man before, and he craves the feeling of Dorian around his cock, against his skin.

“I want you to fuck me in my bed,” Dorian says, voice shaky and full of want. Ethan pulls Dorian up and hooks his legs around his waist; he isn't too heavy. He's so thin that it's not much effort to hold him up and carry him out of the room.

“Where to, Mr. Gray?” Ethan asks, his large hands palming Dorian's ass as he stands in the doorframe of the portrait room.

“Down the hall, third on the left,” Dorian says before he brings his lips to Ethan's again. It's a messy, sloppy kiss as Ethan brings them to the bedroom, and then Dorian feels himself flying as he's tossed onto his bed. He's engulfed by the soft feather mattress and silk sheets, and can't help but feel vulnerable with Ethan towering over him. It's a mad rush as they pull off their clothes, racing to see who can be completely unclothed first. Ethan joins him on the bed as soon as he’s free of his clothing and immediately goes in for a kiss. Dorian groans as he feels Ethan’s hard body and harder cock on his, and he arches his back in pleasure as Ethan scrapes his teeth across his neck.

Ethan bites down onto Dorian’s shoulder, right where it meets his neck, and sucks a bruise there. Dorian cries out because it feels _so damn good,_ and he wants more. Ethan must be on the same wavelength as him because he repeats the action on the other side of Dorian’s neck and on his pectoral. Ethan relishes in the way Dorian’s snow-white skin marked so easily and made the marks appear darker and deeper. He runs his blunt nails down Dorian’s sides, just rough enough so that the skin would sting when it came into contact with the air, and felt Dorian wince underneath him at the sensation. When he scraped them down Dorian’s abdomen towards his cock, Ethan actually felt Dorian’s cock twitch against his own.

“Fucking tease,” Dorian says breathily, trying to keep himself away from orgasm as long as possible. It makes Ethan smile one of his devilish, knowing little smiles and kiss Dorian once more, licking his tongue into Dorian’s open mouth. Ethan’s scruff is scratchy against Dorian's clean-shaven face, and Dorian thinks to himself that he never wants some youthful, bare-faced boy in his bed ever again. He wants a true man, with a beard and muscles and enough strength to snap him in two. It’s while they kiss that Ethan finally tugs at Dorian’s cock and makes Dorian moan. Tingles go throughout Dorian’s body that make him melt into the bed. Dorian feels Ethan’s cock nestle beside his in Ethan’s hand, and Dorian realizes that Ethan is stroking them both at once. The thought, to say the least, is thrilling and makes Dorian grip the soft bedsheets below them.

“Still want me to fuck you?” Ethan asks as he presses a finger against Dorian’s hole. The unexpected touch makes Dorian jump and shudder before nodding vigorously. He manages to break away from Ethan long enough to grab the oil from his bedside table that he keeps when he has men over. He hands the bottle to Ethan, who’s perched on the edge of the bed, and spreads his legs for Ethan.

“You know what to do?”

“I think I can figure it out,” Ethan says with a wink as he coats his fingers in the oil and crawls closer to Dorian’s lanky, spread out body. Dorian relaxes and tries not to wince too much when Ethan works one, two, three fingers into him, each of them thick and insistent. He wrings the sheets in his hands as Ethan pumps them in and out of his body, stretching him and opening him up. Ethan feels Dorian tighten and loosen around his fingers when he hits a particularly sensitive spot. He scissors his fingers and he’s certain he’s about to make Dorian come. _That’s a thought,_ Ethan thinks. _I almost made Dorian_ **_fucking_ ** _Gray come on my fingers alone,_ he smirks to himself as he slowly withdraws his fingers. As Ethan slicks himself up, Dorian watches him and feels arousal take over his whole being. He wants this hard, rough, deep; not fast, though. He wants to make this moment last and come so hard he can't move.

Ethan positions his cock between Dorian’s legs, and with a consenting nod from Dorian, thrusts sharply into him and feels his breath hitch at the sensation of Dorian, hot and wet and tight, around his cock. Dorian can’t even breathe when Ethan is completely inside of him; it’s been so long since he’s let another man be on top, and the feel of Ethan’s hard, thick cock inside of him feels good in all the wrong ways. Ethan begins thrusting into him, shallowly at first, before withdrawing almost completely and then pounding back into him and making Dorian cry out and echo throughout the house. His hands scratch at Ethan’s back, needy and sharp, and leave bloody crescent moons in the lightly tanned skin of Ethan’s shoulders. Ethan continues his relentless, harsh pace and Dorian knows he’ll be incredibly sore all over the next day. He’ll carry Ethan’s marks on his skin and aches in his lower body.

“More,” Dorian orders, biting Ethan’s jawline. Ethan grips Dorian’s shoulder and braces himself as he thrusts harder and deeper into Dorian’s willowy frame. Their lips meet again in a heated kiss, all tongue and teeth, and Ethan bites so sharply at Dorian’s lower lip that now, blood and spit are exchanged in their kiss. It makes Ethan more aroused than he’s ever been, and he wants to make Dorian bleed more. Watching the ruby red blood flow out of Dorian’s plush lips and onto his ivory skin is actually quite beautiful, and he scratches Dorian’s left pectoral quick and fast, his nails leaving behind a faint trail of blood and broken skin. Dorian understands what he’s trying to do and stops Ethan for a second before producing a sharp dagger from the bedside table and handing it to Ethan. Dorian motions to his chest with a look, and Ethan cuts a little “x” into the skin of Dorian’s breast, near his nipple, to test out the dagger. Dorian winces and squeezes around Ethan’s cock; it feels so good and reminds him that even if he's immortal, he’s still a human.

In a slashing motion across Dorian’s chest, Ethan makes a sweeping but shallow cut before he drops the knife onto the carpeted floor. He presses up to Dorian’s frame and pounds into his smaller body with a reckless abandon. The blood is smearing on their chests and Dorian feels as if all his nerves are about to explode; this will be a mess to clean up, but Dorian doesn’t even mind because it just _feels. So. Damn. Good._ He moans when Ethan hits a more sensitive spot inside of him, and tightens around him again.

Unexpectedly, Ethan flips them and suddenly Dorian is on top, riding Ethan’s cock. He rolls his hips quickly and harshly, hands scrabbling at Ethan’s blood-streaked chest. Ethan’s grip on Dorian’s hips is vice-like and Dorian can feel the bruises forming on his skin. Ethan looks so gorgeous and _masculine_ below him, covered in blood and sweat, and Dorian strokes his cock as Ethan guides Dorian up and down. They’re both close, and Dorian comes with a shout all over Ethan’s chest, come mixing with blood as he collapses on top of Ethan, exhausted and fucked out. Ethan bites his lip and comes with a groan when he sees Dorian finally climax and feels his walls tighten around his cock. Dorian sighs when he feels Ethan’s come fill him up and spill out of him when Ethan pulls out. They both pant and gasp for air as they come down from their highs. Dorian’s hair is every which way and he can barely open his eyes from the pleasure and burden on his senses. The blood and come are sticky on their chests. After a few silent moments, he manages to lift his head and look into Ethan’s eyes.

“Thank you for making me feel something, Mr. Chandler,” Dorian says with a fiendish grin and a cock of his brow.

“Glad to be of service, Mr. Gray,” Ethan says with a similar grin and an appreciative squeeze of Dorian’s ass before Dorian rolls off of Ethan and curls up to his side, content and satisfied.

For now, at least.


End file.
